The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
