I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize