I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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