A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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