I didn't shave. On purpose
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
