I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
this just has baby written all over it
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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