Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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