i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
