She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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