so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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