Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
