the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize