I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
where does the pee come out of this thing
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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