the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
