you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
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