Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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