have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
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