Ambien. No doubt about it.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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