I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
