420 ftw
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
