a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
