how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
