She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
