I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
