I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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