I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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