covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
3pm strippers are depressing
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
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