I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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