Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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