I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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