Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
