Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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