What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize
