At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
porn star boner night. come get it.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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