I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
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I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
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The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
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