I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
