Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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