fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
