Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
