What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
