While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
