yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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