i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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