Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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