Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
