Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
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I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
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Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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