what if every blade of grass was a penis?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
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