I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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