the condom got lost in my hair
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
