Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm both gender and math confused
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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