well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
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This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
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I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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