What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
