its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
