If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
