under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
